I was looking for books at the library on “Rome” and came across this book. It was written about Rome, of course, but it was illustrated by a name that sounded really familiar. I knew the person who illustrated it. He had gone to my church when I was 17. I remembered buying a shirt from him when I was 17 and thought of how talented he was. Now he is illustrating books and making comic books. I started following him on Facebook. His mom and my mom were friends at one point. I visited his blog and looked at his numerous sketches. He was quite the talented artist.
It got me thinking though about who I was in high school. All the hopes I had. All the things I wanted to be. I always wanted to be a journalist, but knew I was much to shy to do things like interviews. I wanted to write books. I never even made it to college. In some ways, I just don’t feel like I “made something” of myself. I got married, had kids, and now I homeschool. There is no fame in any of that. It is what it is. Nothing spectacular or stunning about it. I live a life of normalcy. I don’t feel all that talented most days.
Why do we feel like we have to be something special? Why do we feel like if we lack talent or a certain skill that we are less? I know I feel that way. I wake up and my house is my job. My kids are my job. Educating them daily is my job. It’s not glorified. It’s not always pretty. Sometimes its downright lonely. It often is a mirror showing all my frailties as a human. Many times there is no pretty bow to wrap the package that this is. It’s just life. I can’t sing. I can’t dance. I certainly can’t draw. I can’t even make anything out of origami. By human standards, I’m not all that talented. I could have made something of myself. I could have gone to college and been a writer or done something successful.
Here’s the thing: That wasn’t God’s plan for me. Who am I to question God’s plan?
I can’t draw, but I can find resources to teach my kids to learn. I might never write a book, but I enjoy blogging and emailing and can be thoughtful enough to send a hello to someone who might need it. I can’t sing, but I sang all my babies to sleep. To them, it meant something and still does. I never went to college, but somehow I taught myself web design and everyday am teaching myself what it means to be a homeschool mom. I’m always learning. And these hands could not make much out of anything, but they give the best hugs to my kids when they need it, wipe tears away, and flip through pages of books and most importantly the Bible. These feet haven’t traveled all that far from home, but they have walked on paths that God has led me down. My voice isn’t very loud nor will I ever feel ambitious enough to preach a sermon or stand up in front of thousands with just my voice to be heard with some worthwhile sayings on my lips, but they have said a quiet “I love you”, spoken a truth to lead my kids back to God’s path, or simply have said “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
No, I’m not talented. I did not become what I wanted to be when I was 17. But what I am is far better than what I could have done. Better yet is where I am headed. We will all stand and give glory to the One who really deserves it someday. In the meantime, I pray that I will constantly be humbled by how God has brought me through and what He has planned for me.
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