August 31st, 2010
by MB
I was looking for books at the library on “Rome” and came across this book. It was written about Rome, of course, but it was illustrated by a name that sounded really familiar. I knew the person who illustrated it. He had gone to my church when I was 17. I remembered buying a shirt from him when I was 17 and thought of how talented he was. Now he is illustrating books and making comic books. I started following him on Facebook. His mom and my mom were friends at one point. I visited his blog and looked at his numerous sketches. He was quite the talented artist.
It got me thinking though about who I was in high school. All the hopes I had. All the things I wanted to be. I always wanted to be a journalist, but knew I was much to shy to do things like interviews. I wanted to write books. I never even made it to college. In some ways, I just don’t feel like I “made something” of myself. I got married, had kids, and now I homeschool. There is no fame in any of that. It is what it is. Nothing spectacular or stunning about it. I live a life of normalcy. I don’t feel all that talented most days.
Why do we feel like we have to be something special? Why do we feel like if we lack talent or a certain skill that we are less? I know I feel that way. I wake up and my house is my job. My kids are my job. Educating them daily is my job. It’s not glorified. It’s not always pretty. Sometimes its downright lonely. It often is a mirror showing all my frailties as a human. Many times there is no pretty bow to wrap the package that this is. It’s just life. I can’t sing. I can’t dance. I certainly can’t draw. I can’t even make anything out of origami. By human standards, I’m not all that talented. I could have made something of myself. I could have gone to college and been a writer or done something successful.
Here’s the thing: That wasn’t God’s plan for me. Who am I to question God’s plan?
I can’t draw, but I can find resources to teach my kids to learn. I might never write a book, but I enjoy blogging and emailing and can be thoughtful enough to send a hello to someone who might need it. I can’t sing, but I sang all my babies to sleep. To them, it meant something and still does. I never went to college, but somehow I taught myself web design and everyday am teaching myself what it means to be a homeschool mom. I’m always learning. And these hands could not make much out of anything, but they give the best hugs to my kids when they need it, wipe tears away, and flip through pages of books and most importantly the Bible. These feet haven’t traveled all that far from home, but they have walked on paths that God has led me down. My voice isn’t very loud nor will I ever feel ambitious enough to preach a sermon or stand up in front of thousands with just my voice to be heard with some worthwhile sayings on my lips, but they have said a quiet “I love you”, spoken a truth to lead my kids back to God’s path, or simply have said “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
No, I’m not talented. I did not become what I wanted to be when I was 17. But what I am is far better than what I could have done. Better yet is where I am headed. We will all stand and give glory to the One who really deserves it someday. In the meantime, I pray that I will constantly be humbled by how God has brought me through and what He has planned for me.
Technorati Tags: dreams, goals, homeschool, mom, mothering
Christian Walk, Don't Waste Your Life, Encouragement, Home Education | 
4 Comments »
August 29th, 2010
by MB
So I’m thinking that I would like my husband to write up a book review for me. The thing is, I kind of wish he’d write other things for this blog. I think he’s a smart guy with interesting things to say. However, I don’t think he’d go for it. He’s all weird about even writing up a book review for me.
So I guess, what I am asking you guys (and girls) is, if you could ask questions to my lovely husband, what would you ask? It can be funny or serious…it can be about life or his job or Christianity. Whatever as long as its G rated 
I just think if there is an interest, he might actually do it. So how about some love? LOL. He hasn’t braved the waters of having his own blog yet, but I think he wants to and this might be a good place to start. Maybe I could have him write on here once a week or something. What do you all think? I’m sure you are sick of me anyway…he he.
I think these questions will be more like an interview than a post written by him, at least to start, only because I don’t think he’s convinced he’s good at this sort of thing. So drop me some questions please! Thanks.
Blogging, marriage | 4 Comments »
August 25th, 2010
by MB
I have been reading through this book from the Life Change Series called “Psalms”. This book is meant to help you study God’s Word in a deeper way. From the website, its says:
“Lord, teach us to pray.”
The book of Psalms is an answer to that prayer, leading those who study it into new emotional depth in their prayer and their daily lives.
Your prayers will be enriched and you will acquire a richer revelation of the God who invites you into a lifelong conversation.
Includes 10 lessons, background information on Psalms, resource recommendations, and a “How to Use This Study” section.
This book is a simple concept, but for me, it was inspiring. I have a hard time really digging in and dwelling on passages of scripture. This book helped me do that. It focused on specific types of passages (so it didn’t go in order as laid out in the Bible), for instance, one chapter was on “Prayers of Repentance”, which helped me view many of these prayers in a different way. Instead of just reading Psalms “as is”, I was able to really think about how I pray and how I talk with God and how the authors of this book felt when they wrote such prayers.
This book is not rocket science, so people who are already studying and doing a good job of it probably would find it unnecessary. For those who need something to get them motivated or who struggle in their Bible Studies (and can use all the help they can get!), this is a great book and well worth the price. Right now its even on sale!
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from NavPress Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commision’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Technorati Tags: Bible, Bible Study, bible tools, prayer
Bible Resources, Book Reviews | 2 Comments »
August 24th, 2010
by MB
It’s a little harder this year. Today is the day I became fatherless 21 years ago. Today is the day when my world changed and I lost someone of great significance. Today is the day a little girl had to grow up too fast.
I have learned to cope. Sure. I have grown. I think 21 years will do that to a person. But today is somehow harder. Today is the first day my dad’s death rolled around and I realized that both my mom and dad are gone. They sit in the same cemetery, buried in the same dirt, with the same patch of grass growing over them. They might even both be in heaven, but I am not sure. Only God knows that.
Maybe its because I realize how much I have forgotten about my dad. I remember his face clearly, but I don’t recall all the little ways he cared about me. 21 years makes things disappear from one’s mind. Simple things like drives to the lake or going out for hot cocoa or putting up the Christmas tree. I grew up without a dad to tell me about boys, watch me graduate high school, or give me away at my wedding. 21 years of birthdays, Christmas, and Father’s Days void of my dad. All the little things I would have loved to see and do with my dad died the day he left this earth.
Today is harder because I can’t say to myself “Oh I still have my mom.” Today is harder because she is gone and I must go through the process as I did with my dad. Learning to cope. Forgetting little things about her. In 21 years, will I still remember her? Or will I just be ok with the fact that she is gone?
My dad lost his parents at a young age too. His dad died first. Then his mom years later. Today is harder because now I know what he felt too. And I don’t think he ever got over it.
I miss you.
Technorati Tags: Dad, death, Father
Loss, My life, family life | 6 Comments »
August 23rd, 2010
by MB
Over the past few weeks, I’ve realized how little I spend time praying. Sad really. Prayer is very close to God’s heart and without prayer, how can God be glorified in my life? I was trying to come up with ways God has answered prayers in my life as I read Psalms last night and I realized, I never really ask for things. It’s not like I NEVER pray. But I think up to this point, I just feel like God does not answer my prayers. Maybe its just something in me. This overall distrust of who God is. I say that not to say that this thinking is right, but something that God has been showing me over the last few weeks. I don’t trust God. The truth is, God does answer prayers, but not how I want Him too. The issue here is pride and pride (thinking I know better than God does…or that I know God at all) is not something I want in my heart. But there it is. Aren’t you glad you know me? (ha ha).
So my list of answered prayers is next to nil. So apparently, me taking over isn’t helping either. Why do I think that if I don’t pray, that my desires will be granted? What is it in me that thinks God is not big enough to take whatever my circumstance is and do something great with it? Well, I could dig deep and find answers. There are probably many reasons. It just boils down to me not trusting who God is. It’s a flawed view of His character. I can quote Bible verses all day long, but in the end, do I really believe them? I so want to. But I can’t make my own heart change.
All of this to say, I’ve been making more of an effort to “make my requests known” to God. For my family, for my friends, for homeschooling, for my feelings and my sorrows, for my thankfulness, for the people that surround my life and cause me both joy and grief…and throughout my day I try to remember that nothing is too little or too big for me to speak to God about. It’s an attitude of prayer. Unfortunately, I think many of us feel that talking to God is a once a day event or maybe a once a week event. We don’t think that God wants us to speak to Him in prayer throughout the day. I don’t mean like a crazy person talking to oneself. I mean that in our hearts, no matter where we are, asking God to help us with whatever it is. I must admit, I get much too busy for God and think I do not need to speak to Him. I sometimes forget that God is right here with me. I wish that I would just get it! I wish that I always knew that He was right here and didn’t feel it was every inappropriate to go to Him; or that I was too good for that kind of thing.
I’m a head knowledge kind of girl I guess. I know a lot of things about God. I’ve been hearing biblical stuff, both true and false ideas, since I was a little kid. I’m almost 33 now. I still feel I don’t know His character very well. I know about Him, but I don’t feel I know Him. There is a difference. I have read the Bible plenty, but with blinders on. When you have blinders on, you don’t take in too much. You know things…maybe lots of things about the Bible. Has it sunk in? Can you apply it when necessary? I don’t think I can very well. I struggle with it being a heart knowledge thing. Yet in the end, I see this in myself and I hate it. I do want God to change me and I do want to be able to trust God in everything, but I’m not quite there yet. Not sure how to get over something so huge and flawed. How do some people just get it and others don’t? I feel like every bit of my walk with God has been a fight….a fight to know who He really is and to know Him and to keep on seeking Him. Does anyone else ever feel this way?
Technorati Tags: Bible, God, god's character
Bible, Christian Walk, God's Sovereignty, Serving God | 5 Comments »
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